Postal

An utterly pointless movie punctuated by some genuinely hilarious comedy. Forget the whole "tasteless" nametag that has been applied to this movie (largely by the creators), this has been added by the film makers to increase the movie's hype since it pokes fun at Arabs.

The whole 9/11 scene at the start was supposed to grab everyone's attention and think that this movie pushed the boundaries, it doesn't. The scene is designed solely to outrage an American public who are still reeling from one of their few moments of true homeland terrorism.

Most of the movie is entirely forgettable, even though a midget gets raped by a thousand monkeys and about 30 children get killed in a shoot-out at Germanyland (or whatever it was called).

I did appreciate when Uwe Boll poked fun at himself during the Germanyland scene, that was one of the genuinely hilarious scenes. Anyone remotely familiar with gaming and the internet knows that there are many theories about Uwe Boll, like how he must use Nazi gold to finance his movies because no one in their right mind would pay to make such flops, or how he must hate video games because he butchers the plots. In Postal he admits to using Nazi gold (and even pays a performer with gold teeth) and after getting shot in the balls admits that he hates video games, and for a couple of minutes, God help me, I actually liked Uwe Boll.

But that quickly passed because, as I said earlier, Postal is largely forgettable. I can feel the entire movie draining from my mind as I type this, I'm fairly certain that there was an angry cult as well as Arab terrorists.

You can pass a couple of hours watching Zack Ward try desperately to forward his career or you can go watch something decent.

Ugh, Erick Avari, you should have known better. I actually respected you.

Uwe, content. Content! Content! Content! People recognize that you can be a good writer, hell with a doctorate in literature you could be a great writer, but you keep going for cheap half baked shite and running with it because you want to get the film out. My only other advice is stop butchering video games, it's an experience that can't be recreated on the big screen, and if you alter the story you will only end up pissing off your fans (aka, your audience).

Rating: U (but a step in the right direction, it wasn't all horrible)